Positives

We've got 'em! I had an all out negative yesterday morning, and by the afternoon, I had a clear second line. I was crampy all day yesterday, just like the kind I get when my period is coming, back pain and all. Go, babies, go!

This morning we had the same line on a FRER but a dreaded "Not Pregnant" on the CBE digital. But, I peed again when I got home from acupuncture, Whole Foods, the farmer's market, buying a dress and sunglasses for MEXICO!, and dodging all the protestors. TH is at his parents, and when left to my own devices in a TWW, I will pee every. single. time.

The good news is that the CBE digital is now on board. ;)

TH is very cautiously optimistic right now. We both are, obviously, but I feel like I must love whoever is hanging out in there for the moments I have them, in the event they are fleeting. I keep reminding TH how hard these babies worked to stick around (we found out Thur that none of the others made it to freeze), make it to blast, implant, AND give us two days of positive tests. Our little ones are working hard in there, and I love them dearly for it. The last words I spoke to TH last night as we were falling asleep is that these are our babies, one or two, and if we don't love them wholly and give them a chance, who will? It's our job.

So, please stay, baby(ies). We're so happy to have you and ready to give you so much love! ♥

It never goes as planned

Since I shot myself in the foot last cycle with the false positive (God, that seems so long ago), I've stayed silent this week. I've had faint positives on line tests since Sunday. They've varied in darkness, never giving me the subsequent darkening lines I've been wishing for. But alas, they've stayed consistently positive. I took a digital yesterday, and it read the magical Pregnant. However, this morning, the digital read Not Pregnant. Same brand of test from the same box of tests (CBE Digital). This didn't make sense because last night's FRER was actually decently dark; you didn't have to hunt to see it. I just took another CBE digital and got a Pregnant, but another FRER line test gave me a fainter than faint positive only visible when I took the test apart. (The good news is that this is the first test I've taken apart to see the line, LOL) Darker. I want to see the line getting DARKER.

We've been hesitant to believe because I read that Ovidrel can stay in your system for up to 14 days. Yes, it seems like everyone clears it by 10 days or at the longest, 12, but if there's a small chance something can happen with someone and medication, I tend to fall into that category. (Allergic to Gon.al-F, anyone?) And given last cycle and the fact that I haven't seen a negative, it hasn't been a joyful celebration over here.

A line is a line, so I take that to mean we've made it past the first hurdle. The next one to jump over is tomorrow's beta. I wish it were more clear, but I also think I could hold 20 perfect positives in my hand and still not believe it until we have a good beta.Please pray that ze baby(ies) are strong and healthy. With the inconsistent tests, I'm afraid of this being a chemical. I'm staying as strong as I can, keeping the urge to pee at bay, and singing to my wee little ones. Please sing to them, too. I know they're in there.

Don't give up on me, I'm about to come alive.