It's 7dpiui. I woke up with mild uterus cramping,and I've had it for 3 hours now. I know this feeling well, and it's freaking me the eff out today. It's my first day working since the holidays, and I was hoping to be uber productive today. I'm not sure how it works, but uterus pain = inability to concentrate.
What if?
Oh God.
Please?
Please.
*mild panicked wail*
God grant me strength. Calm. Patience. And the ability to think sentences of more than one word.
These are the pains I've had before. I had them with the m/c, and it's how I told myself the baby was letting us know he was still there. I know this feeling; we've conceived. Now, we wait to see if we get to a positive. I keep telling myself that this time we're helping the baby with progesterone and baby aspirin. This time, we've done all we can ahead of time.
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Creme de la Creme
IComLeavWe
About Me
- K
- TH and I have been married since late 2007. He's European and I'm a midwest girl, which makes for much love, cultural clashes, laughter, and learning. We just bought our first apt in NYC, we have two Devon Rex kitties, and I recently started grad school. That's us, in a nutshell. ♥
Our TTC History
~1998: At the age of 15, a gyn suspects I have endo after being hospitalized for abdominal pain. I'm put on bcp to control it.
April '03: After numerous bladder issues and a full work-up, it's suspected the endo is on my bladder. Lap performed during break from college. Endo on my uterosacral ligaments, bladder, cul-de-sac. Ovaries, tubes, and uterus are clear - YAY!
Apr - Sep '03: 6 months of Lupron. Ick, ick, ick.
Sep '03 - Aug '06: Various forms of bcp to keep periods away. In Aug, I decide enough is enough and stop the bcp. I have two normal cycles, and my period disappears for 6 months.
Jan '06: I move to NYC from Philly, and TH and I start dating.
Jan '07: Start seeing Erika, the acupuncturist, to get my period back. Docs want to give meds, but I think meds are the reason TOM is on hiatus and refuse. I see a series of not so great gyns. I move into TH's apt with two other guys.
Mar '07: Erika works her magic, TOM is back!
May '07: TH and I are in our first apt!
Aug '07: TH proposes!
Nov '07: We're married!
Mar '08: We stop preventing but aren't officially trying. It takes a few months of therapy for me to finally agree...we're trying. I'm scared to death after all the "sooner rather than later", "you'll need IVF to get pregnant", and other BS statements given to me via shitty gyns in the last ten years.
Jul '08: Officially TTC. Let the temping begin! (And, of course, I get a cyst that makes this cycle ~50 days. I should have known...)
Dec '08: Back pain suspected to be another cyst turns out to be herniated disc. Lap scheduled with Dr. O for excision of endo. Septate uterus is found sometime in the fall. (How many people missed this in all these years?!)
Jan '09: I get a full work-up for the lap. We shop around for a new RE but decide to stick with the original one.
Feb '09: Endo removed, no bowel resection needed. Left tube could be blocked or was spasming during surgeries. *breath of relief*
Mar '09: HSG reveals tubes are clear! I resist the hysteroscopy b/c I'm not ready for another surgery and am not convinced the septum is a problem, as I've never m/c. TH's SA comes back all clear.
Apr '09: We move into our new apartment once renovations are complete. We're homeowners! We also conceive but the baby can't implant. We never see a positive HPT, but we're devastated.
May '09: Hysteroscopy corrects the uterine septum. We're good to go...but no positive test...
Sep '09: Our first medicated cycle. I have an allergic rxn to Gonal.F and we switch to Follistim. Moderate OHSS post-IUI. I'm also start grad school. (Epic FAIL...the cycle, not school)
Dec '09: Chemical pregnancy on a Clomid/IUI cycle. Sadness. Found out I'm heterozygous for MTHFR.
Jan '09: IUI #3 = FAIL. Here comes IVF...
Mar '10: IVF#1 results in a chemical pregnancy. Diagnosed with abnormal fertilization by the sperm. Wha?!
Apr '10: Bring on IVF#2. All retrieved eggs to have ICSI. Scratch that. RE/lab fuckup results in regular fertilization. 15 mature eggs retrieved, 7 fertilize on their own. Grade 3 BB and BC blasts transferred. Beta#1 30.3. Beta #2 79.3. Beta #3 158. We're having a baby! :D
Jan '11: Babel arrives at 39 weeks after 30 hours of labor. He weighed 7lbs 3oz and was 21.5" long. He has the most kissable cheeks his mama has ever seen.
April '03: After numerous bladder issues and a full work-up, it's suspected the endo is on my bladder. Lap performed during break from college. Endo on my uterosacral ligaments, bladder, cul-de-sac. Ovaries, tubes, and uterus are clear - YAY!
Apr - Sep '03: 6 months of Lupron. Ick, ick, ick.
Sep '03 - Aug '06: Various forms of bcp to keep periods away. In Aug, I decide enough is enough and stop the bcp. I have two normal cycles, and my period disappears for 6 months.
Jan '06: I move to NYC from Philly, and TH and I start dating.
Jan '07: Start seeing Erika, the acupuncturist, to get my period back. Docs want to give meds, but I think meds are the reason TOM is on hiatus and refuse. I see a series of not so great gyns. I move into TH's apt with two other guys.
Mar '07: Erika works her magic, TOM is back!
May '07: TH and I are in our first apt!
Aug '07: TH proposes!
Nov '07: We're married!
Mar '08: We stop preventing but aren't officially trying. It takes a few months of therapy for me to finally agree...we're trying. I'm scared to death after all the "sooner rather than later", "you'll need IVF to get pregnant", and other BS statements given to me via shitty gyns in the last ten years.
Jul '08: Officially TTC. Let the temping begin! (And, of course, I get a cyst that makes this cycle ~50 days. I should have known...)
Dec '08: Back pain suspected to be another cyst turns out to be herniated disc. Lap scheduled with Dr. O for excision of endo. Septate uterus is found sometime in the fall. (How many people missed this in all these years?!)
Jan '09: I get a full work-up for the lap. We shop around for a new RE but decide to stick with the original one.
Feb '09: Endo removed, no bowel resection needed. Left tube could be blocked or was spasming during surgeries. *breath of relief*
Mar '09: HSG reveals tubes are clear! I resist the hysteroscopy b/c I'm not ready for another surgery and am not convinced the septum is a problem, as I've never m/c. TH's SA comes back all clear.
Apr '09: We move into our new apartment once renovations are complete. We're homeowners! We also conceive but the baby can't implant. We never see a positive HPT, but we're devastated.
May '09: Hysteroscopy corrects the uterine septum. We're good to go...but no positive test...
Sep '09: Our first medicated cycle. I have an allergic rxn to Gonal.F and we switch to Follistim. Moderate OHSS post-IUI. I'm also start grad school. (Epic FAIL...the cycle, not school)
Dec '09: Chemical pregnancy on a Clomid/IUI cycle. Sadness. Found out I'm heterozygous for MTHFR.
Jan '09: IUI #3 = FAIL. Here comes IVF...
Mar '10: IVF#1 results in a chemical pregnancy. Diagnosed with abnormal fertilization by the sperm. Wha?!
Apr '10: Bring on IVF#2. All retrieved eggs to have ICSI. Scratch that. RE/lab fuckup results in regular fertilization. 15 mature eggs retrieved, 7 fertilize on their own. Grade 3 BB and BC blasts transferred. Beta#1 30.3. Beta #2 79.3. Beta #3 158. We're having a baby! :D
Jan '11: Babel arrives at 39 weeks after 30 hours of labor. He weighed 7lbs 3oz and was 21.5" long. He has the most kissable cheeks his mama has ever seen.
Fingers crossed here!
ReplyDeleteyou still could be pregnant. Both times I got positive betas I had cramps the week before. good luck!!!
ReplyDeleteSending strong implantation vibes your way. Keeping my fingers crossed <3
ReplyDeletecrossing everything.
ReplyDeleteemail the questions you had for me. gonna call the doc this week.
love you.
xo
*crosses everything*
ReplyDeleteAll crossables crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get some good news. Will your doctor give you a prescription for heparin or Lovenox in the meantime?
ReplyDelete***positive vibes***
ReplyDeletepraying and abiding with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you- please keep us posted!!
ReplyDeleteCome on, Baby K! Hang in there, my sweet little one!
ReplyDeletePraying and hoping and willing a positive outcome! I'm glad you're taking extra measures this time around to give your embie the best fighting chance.
Many *hugs* to you, my friend.
(and I'm sorry for being a laaaaaaame commenter lately)
Thumbs Up...there is nothing more to be done but wait....my best wishes are with you....Good Luck...
ReplyDelete