I found some Hope. Crazy.

So, I have a hemorrhagic cyst that is causing all the pain. I saw a different doc than the one I usually see b/c I went in during Monitoring Hours, and today is not the day my doc monitors. I was a little nervous about seeing a different doc, but this one was actually very nice and spent some time with us talking about the cyst. When he said it was blood-filled, I panicked a little that it could be an endometrioma, even though I've never had one with my endo. (*knocks on wood*) He said they present differently on u/s, so he's pretty certain that this is not an endometrioma. (And, judging by the fact that I had all that tenderness at O, I completely agree with the cyst diagnosis.) Whew. The bummer is that he said they can sometimes take a while to go away, and because of the blood in it, the pain's not going be all that great. The good news is that he said that they don't hinder conception in any way, so we're still in it for this month. He said that if my period comes, I'd should go back for a u/s to see if it's gone down in size/disappeared/grown.

In other TWW news, I was nauseous this morning and my nips do not like to interact with my clothing. Good news! :) My temp also went up into the 98s today after hanging out in the high 97s since O. Triphasic, anyone? I must remind myself that I need an overall pattern NOT just individual temps. That thinking will help me when the pre-TOM fall occurs.

In conclusion (all English majors are free to cringe at the use of that phrase), I will leave you with my little happy story after the RE visit. I usually leave the RE a crabby bitch, hyper-aware of the lack of zeroS in our bank account (it is on a rich avenue), the fact that I'm at least 10 years younger than most of the women in there, and that I'm not super skinny with designer clothes and a Harrod's/Barney's shopping bag. Today was different.

Story time!

A group of easily 50 children (probably more) got on the subway with me today from 125th to 168th. They were from ages 6-12 or so, I would guess. TONS of them. It was a group outing for the Harlem Children's Zone, which I pass every day on my commute. (God bless the people that took all those kids on public transportation for that field trip. What a stress!) Anyway, they got on and were just excited kids in their matching obnoxiously yellow t-shirts, going on a field trip. They were good, though, all things considered. Then, one of the leaders started doing cheers with them. OMG, they were loud! It was 9am! I had been up since I temped at 5.45am! But they were so stinking cute! And there was this little one who totally knew the subway b/c he was answering questions about the line better than the chaperone. He was just too cute. The whole group of them were, even though they were shouting their little hearts out on the damn cheers.

But it was 9am in the morning. I was coming back from the RE. I didn't hate them. At all. I didn't even dislike them. I SMILED at how cute there were, and I looked AT them, rather than away from them.

As they all exited with me at 168th, I gave them a wide berth and let them go ahead of me. I wasn't annoyed. I was secretly glad I wasn't responsible for them, but I was also eager to watch their little commute. I was so proud of myself and so relieved to feel a little more normal. I thought that maybe all those kids were a sign after today's visit. They sure were sunny, bright and hard to miss.