We doubled

Exactly. 158.

I thought that today would be the day that would give me relief after we doubled. Apparently not. I am caught in the land of fear. I've never been pregnant for this many days in a row, but instead of being able to celebrate that, I'm trying to breathe deeply that last time we more than doubled and this time we doubled exactly. I felt like complete chit yesterday, which was very calming, but today is the numbers' mind fcuk. I've been told this is just how it is, which is actually kind of comforting. We have never made it to the 5th week, so this is like hell week for us. I wish I could just let all this worry go and *breathe*.

This is scarier than I ever thought it could be. There's this constant fear that I'm going to be pushed right back onto the infertility train again, no questions asked, no begging allowed.

We did what we needed to do. Oh, baby, you're working so hard in there. We know. We're working hard out here, too. Promise. All this fear comes from love, lots and lots of love. We just want to hold you in our arms in January. We're holding millions of kisses, just for you.

We have b/w and u/s next Friday. One week to go. *exhale*

And again, thank you for submitting me to LFCA. ♥♥♥ I love you girls.